weird things about casinos

In a sense, casinos are masterpieces. A meticulously orchestrated performance with the ultimate goal that you’ll spend a lot of money at the slots, roulette, black jack, or poker. I’m staying at a casino over the next few days for a work conference and it’s shown me again the great lengths casinos go to in order to encourage their patrons to spend more money.

The most obvious, to me, is that it’s always dark in the casino and thus difficult to tell that time is passing.

Second, they do A LOT of things to keep you from staying in your room. Like only providing 12 cable channels, of which there is no HGTV (quelle horreur!). And instead of providing wireless internet in your room you have to (1) bring your own ethernet cord or pay to buy one and then (2) pay for the internet access yourself.

I’ve also formulated the theory that they keep you from hanging out at the pool by not providing very many umbrellas. It’s pretty darn hot on the coast and without an umbrella, you can’t stay out very long. The best umbrellas and cabanas are found in the “VIP” section. Available at an extra charge, of course.

Another fascinating thing to me is the large cross-section of people one finds. You have the frat-looking guys that wear khaki shorts and pastel colored polo shirts walking around with a Heineken and a few feet away you have senior citizens in polyester pants and Hawaiian shirts. There are the high rollers, whom I hear emerge after midnight, that play in the “High Limit Room” just a few yards away from middle class folks playing penny slots. Every one can find a place suited for them.

I haven’t figured out how this fits into their “spend more money” goals, but for some reason the chairs at the all-you-can-eat buffet are 30 percent larger than normal chairs. You could nearly fit two of me on them! Does one gamble more if they’re in a food coma?

I got an upgraded room this year, so I’m looking out over the Gulf and the pool. And the casino staff just brought me a fruit plate, cheese plate, crackers and water to my room as a gift! That’s probably working against them at this point. I’ve got food, internet, and a view. I’ll be staying put for a while.

Filed under: in process